What She Heard

Communication is a two-party system

Dear Leader,

Last time you and I were together, I sat with you as you addressed uncomfortable calls about late payments from vendors with your bookkeeper. One vendor had even called you out at your Rotary club meeting causing embarrassment. After the meeting, you had to rush off for another appointment. I took that opportunity to speak with her privately. I asked, "What did you hear?"

She correctly heard that you are upset with vendors calling you directly. That some of them are snapping at you about late checks and that you feel embarrassed by them. She gets these calls as well, and your frustration is understandable. I asked "What were the action items out of this meeting?" She admitted that she did not know, but offered to make her direct line more prominent on the POs to reduce calls to you.

It is now 3 weeks later and vendor calls are going up, not down. You assumed that she would understand the problem and would automatically step up with solutions and implement them. She did not because you didn't clearly tell her what you wanted.

This is creating several sub-optimal outcomes. Vendor calls are upsetting you. Your mounting frustration with your bookkeeper is now coloring comments to me and other leaders. Her reputation damage is mounting all while she is unaware of her contribution to the problem.

Here is your challenge. Prior to speaking with each person this week, (start with the bookkeeper please), write down on a piece of paper exactly what you need to occur after the conversation is over. Have the conversation, but keep glancing at the statement on the paper. As you are wrapping up the conversation, ask "Can you tell me what I am expecting of you?" When their answer matches what is on your piece of paper, you are on a path to success.

Your leadership will improve when you start with clarity for yourself. Stop and think "what do I want" from this conversation or this person? This clear expectation is required in order to create a structure where accountability can exist, even personally. For example, "I need to lose weight" is vague and bound for failure because it does not convey an action to take TODAY. Something like "I am eliminating soda from my diet from here forward" however, is clear, actionable and ultimately, kind.

Directness and clarity are needed by everyone on your team. It empowers them to meet expectations, fulfill the needs of the team and acquire respect. They will KNOW when they have done well. A bonus from this is that your employees will feel and act like contributors, bringing purpose and meaning. Best of all? You become the leader they need and want to follow.

Park Wiker

P.S. Napoleon reminds us that “Long orders, which require much time to prepare, to read, and to understand, are the enemies of speed.”

This is part of the Letters to Leaders series available on 
Substack in written form and audio: wiker.substack.com 

Podcast on Apple, Spotify and Youtube Podcasts as "Letters to Leaders"