I’m Worth More

Time to negotiate a change

Dear Leader,

In our 1 on 1, do you remember how you felt when you revealed that you hadn't gotten a raise in 4 years? In 10 years you have grown from office manager to building manager to now regional. We are 4 years into that 'temporary' position, fulfilling both building and regional roles. You have done well, but rather than be rewarded, you have been dutifully doing 2 jobs on a building manager's pay. You feel taken advantage of because you have been. That's resentment and it can be a potent poison or it can be your wake up call.

Let's look at this objectively. It's not up to your owner to make sure you get paid well enough; It's up to you. The owner's goals prioritize keeping expenses down and revenue up. You are obviously valued or you wouldn't be here. But you are also an expense. They are seeing your silent execution as consent with the arrangement.

When you fail to stand up for yourself, resentment builds, reinforcing many of the negative thoughts you have. "I'm not valued" "I'm not good enough" "What's the point?" Ruminating on these thoughts will create a flywheel of negative thought. Motivation suffers first. You stop pushing. You stop volunteering and speaking up. It insidiously bleeds into your whole demeanor as you bottle the anger.

But, you are better than this. Let's not allow resentment to beat you.

The first way to win is a forgiveness protocol such as Enright's Forgiveness Therapy. It progresses from exposure, forgiveness, compassion and release. But your case needs a second, more substantive approach; address the source of your distress. In this case, re-negotiate your salary.

Start by answering these questions.

• What in the current circumstance justifies this request for more money? This is the evidence of your value to the company.
• What do you want? This is a description of your offer, salary and benefits in this case. Also, set your minimums in preparation for working through counter offers.
• What good will come from agreeing to your request? We can't forget that the other party has needs and wants. Supply them with something they want.
• What bad will come from continuing on the current path? Lay out the pain they will experience. If you are too clinical, it won't make the impact you need.
• What is my backup plan? It's always possible that your request may be met with an extreme response (like being fired on the spot). In fact, don't just consider the plan, make some calls or brush up your resume and get it out there. Nothing gives you confidence like having a solid "Plan B".

Next, practice the delivery. Assertive, calm and matter-of-fact, retaining a stoic demeanor in the face of emotional manipulation.

• Lay out the facts that lead to and justify your request.
• Make the request, offer or deal.
• Explain all the good that will occur when they accept.
• Explain the bad that will occur if they don't.

Success here will unlock everyone's understanding of your sovereignty and respect. Imagine the negative internal talk muted and your renewed confidence when your value is recognized. You win, the boss wins and even the team gets the best version of you.

Note this point. Everything you say in this negotiation is a promise and MUST be kept. If they agree, you must fulfill the good. If they reject your offer, you must fulfill the bad. I have seen too many times where people bluff and get challenged. Let's not be that guy.

We will practice this together in our next 1 on 1.

Park Wiker

P.S. He who is silent is taken to agree. Plato

This is part of the Letters to Leaders series available on 
Substack in written form and audio: wiker.substack.com 

Podcast on Apple, Spotify and Youtube Podcasts as "Letters to Leaders"